I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
