she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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