We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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