we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
