All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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