She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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