...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are we still banned from the library?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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