I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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