i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
only you would photoshop your dick
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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