so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
