1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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