Tell her she can't have a vagina
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
