Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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