how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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