Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
