and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not