he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
