Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?