she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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