Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line