Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon. http://tfl.nu/ni4o
  Replies (10) Good night (3284) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over. http://tfl.nu/nwsy
  Replies (40) Good night (16115) Bad night (2218)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij
  Replies (40) Good night (5471) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me. http://tfl.nu/5jau
  Replies (18) Good night (4649) Bad night (1233)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close http://tfl.nu/huvz
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu
  Replies (21) Good night (3815) Bad night (1905)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32
  Replies (3) Good night (2030) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night http://tfl.nu/zfrq
  Replies (3) Good night (2044) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies. http://tfl.nu/al7b
  Replies (2) Good night (1864) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc
  Replies (16) Good night (1742) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low. http://tfl.nu/8ydo
  Replies (6) Good night (888) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom? http://tfl.nu/x7t2
  Replies (9) Good night (892) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again. http://tfl.nu/sx09
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park. (770): I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers. http://tfl.nu/217c
  Replies (2) Good night (473) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion" http://tfl.nu/821u
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (292)

Randomize