I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
