would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
