it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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