I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
