I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
