Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
