i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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