If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
