dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
