Yo dont text me then not text me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
