420 ftw
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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