At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
