Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
