if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wanna go halves on a baby?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
