Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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