his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
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I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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