yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
