I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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