well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
