Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry rosemerta hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

He uses pillows to masturbate.

Fav 39 1059 3410
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

Fav 64 8135 1470
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time

Fav 4 7469 1565
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was

Fav 7 3537 900
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

Fav 13 1071 1969
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers

Fav 4 2744 1011
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(418): View more from Quebec

I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC

Fav 12 1209 1766
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn

Fav 0 37 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.

Fav 0 31 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT