3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
