literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
