Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
