Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
