"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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