If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
