Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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