how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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