She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
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She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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