No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
