then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize