The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
