she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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