are you still at the devil's house?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
