i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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