Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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